What Women Want…

OK…I know probably every guy reading this title is shaking their head in frustration because they NEVER seem to understand what we, as women, seem to want. If that is your reaction then this is the post for you. I am about to let the big secret out of the bag on exactly what women want. And it’s really very simple actually.

Are you ready? Here it is…women want to be pursued.

There it is…plain and simple. Well maybe not as simple as it sounds but let me explain.

From the time we reach that age when we begin to notice boys and they begin to notice us we really like them to notice us. We like the attention and their pursuit of us. It makes us feel really special when a guy makes eyes at us, notices the care we took in getting ready that morning, notices our hair or our new outfit.

And guys usually do a great job of pursuing the girls they like too. They wash their car or truck before each date, they make sure they are clean and dressed nice, they probably walk up to the house to pick her up, they open doors, etc. And, if they are really good, nice guys, they treat her like a Princess. And guys, we eat this stuff up because this is what we have been shown by Disney movies since we were toddlers.

Everything goes along like this and you get married. She probably had her dream, fairy tale wedding and felt like that Princess. Prince Charming is wonderful to her on the honeymoon and probably for a good while after. But this is when the problem comes along. Our guy has now caught us. Which is wonderful. However, now that he has the girl something seems to click off in the guy’s head and he no longer feels he needs to pursue the girl.

In black and white it makes perfect sense but it doesn’t to a girl’s heart. We wake up one day and don’t understand what happened. Why doesn’t he do the things he used to do? Why doesn’t he open doors, or wash the car before a date, or even ask us on a date?

I know it probably doesn’t make a lot of sense but I’m telling you what is deep within a woman’s heart and it’s that she wants to be pursued. And I’m just talking about her relationship with her husband. Because I know that God pursues us and loves us. I know there are other relationships. But I’m not talking about them. I’m strictly talking about what we seem to crave…and that’s for our husband to continue to pursue us.

It makes us feel loved and wanted. And it makes us feel like you would choose us all over again. And let me let you in on another little secret…if you pursue your wife, she will most likely start doing on those things she did in the beginning again too. Like anxiously wait on your call and make sure she is beautiful when you come home from work…so it’s a win-win for everyone.

Just try it and see what happens.

I Miss Thanksgiving…

You may remember I just did a post about missing Halloween.  Well, it turns out I miss Thanksgiving too, but not for the same reasons.

Unlike Halloween, there aren’t many people who don’t like Thanksgiving.  I mean there’s lots of food, family, lots of food, football, lots of food…welll you get the point.  What’s not to love?

There is, however, one group of people who seem to dispise Thanksgiving.  Notice I said people, not turkeys.  Obviously turkeys aren’t too fond of Thanksgiving, and for good reason.  The people I’m speaking of would be the retailers.

When I was a child there was a nice progression of holidays in the stores.  First we had October and Halloween.  Next came November and Thanksgiving.  Finally, December and Christmas followed by the New Year.

It was so nice to be able to fully immerse yourself in the season, decorate, enjoy it, all before moving into the next holiday.  Every season had it’s place and nothing was rushed.  Now Halloween is big then it seems November 1st – here comes Christmas.  (Speaking of each holiday having it’s month then moving on, what is with the people who keep their Christmas trees up way into January and beyond.  Ah, but that’s a rant for another day.)

I know the retail establishment likes to jump from one money-maker to the next but I HATE it.  For one thing, I am absolutely sick of Christmas music by mid-December because I have been hearing it so long.  For another, I think as affluent a nation as we are, we definitely need to take 30 days in November to really reflect on and thank God for all the blessing we have been given.

Now I’m not hating in Christmas, I LOVE Christmas, I just miss Thanksgiving.  The only advantage to rushing the process I’ve found so far is getting any new Thanksgiving decorations I want at 66% off on November 1st since Hobby Lobby already has them discounted to make room for Christmas.  That is definitely a plus in my book.

Well the retailers can rush all they want, I for one am going to enjoy my Turkey day, be thankful for something all 30 days of November, and look forward to Christmas…once December comes.

Your thoughts?

I Miss Halloween…

I’m a big fan of Halloween.

There, my secret is out.

Before I was a Christian, this really wasn’t a big deal for many people.  I was one of “those” people who decorated their house for Halloween.  Even when we lived in an apartment, I was always the one that not only decorated my apartment and the door, but also the entire breezeway.  Halloween has always been one of my favorite holidays because it’s just don’t-take-yourself-serious kind of fun to me (and don’t-take-yourself-serious pretty much sums me up).

Once I became a Christian, in some circles, I kind of felt like I had to go underground.  It’s not like anyone overtly said anything to me but I just felt funny saying anything about my love of Halloween.  But still I loved it, just more to myself.

So I’m just going to share my philosophy on Halloween.  I’m not asking anyone else to “convert” to my way of thinking, I’m just trying to explain myself to everyone who wants to know.

I really like Halloween.  I like giving out candy to cute kids (and even not-so-cute teenagers).   I like decorating my house with cute “monsters”, jack-o-lanterns, and the like.  I like watching spooky movies, especially the older classics.  Tonight I plan on watching the original Frankenstein like we did every Halloween growing up.  And no, I don’t take it all seriously.  I don’t get into anything “dark”.

I miss the times when we would just put on some old clothes of my dad’s and put dirt on our face and trick-or-treat as hobos.  The whole neighborhood of kids would go in a big group together.  We knew all the neighbors and were safe.  Our dads would hang back behind us with flashlights and escort us around.  It was simple and it was great.  Then we would all usually hang out at someone’s house to get sick eating loads of candy and watch Frankenstein or Dracula or the Mummy until late.

There was no concern about it being dark or dangerous.  No one looked at you funny for celebrating.

Now I understand that there is a lot of darkness in this world.  There are things that people allow their children to put on to trick-or-treat that I’m frankly very uncomfortable with.   I’m not saying that is good at all.  And if you choose not to celebrate Halloween or ever allow your children to trick-or-treat, I’m not going to condemn you or say something ugly to you about it.

So tonight, I’m going to pass out some candy and watch a movie.  Don’t worry, tomorrow my Halloween decorations will come down and I’ll decorate for nice, respectible Thanksgiving.

I’m Sailing Away…

I’ve been a little lazy about writing lately.  Actually, I haven’t written a word since way before our cruise.  So let me start with our wonderful trip.

Bud and I have been planning and talking about going on a cruise for our 25th anniversary for literally years.  Because of that, we were both sad when we found out Bud would be in Korea for our 25th anniversary.  After he returned from Korea, we decided this was the year.  We decided on a 7 day cruise leaving from New Orleans and going to Cozumel, Grand Cayman, and Montego Bay.

We left in late August right around the time Hurricane Isaac decided to come into the Gulf of Mexico.  We left and the first full day was pretty rocky due to the Hurricane.  Despite having the seasick patch on, I still got pretty sick the first day.  Once I took some more medicine and we got around 400 miles away from the hurricane, it was much better.  Also due to hurricane, our itinerary was flip-flopped and we started at Montego Bay. 

We decided to do excursions at the ports since we were newbies.  In Jamaica we went on a tour that took us through the beautiful countryside, holding a stingray, and then swimming with dolphins.  It was amazing.  The dolphins were so much fun and one took a special liking to me and gave me a BIG FAT KISS on the mouth!  The people were wonderful and the food was great.

The next day was Grand Cayman which I fell in love with.  It was the most beautiful place with the most beautiful blue water.  We did a tour here too which included a ride to Hell where we got to send out mail from the Hell Post Office, then we went to the Tortuga Rum Company where we had double chocolate rum cake (YUMMO), then to the Turtle Farm where we got to hold some cute turtles, and then finally to meet a boat that took us 30 minutes out to the stingray reef where we swam with and held huge stingrays.  They were so soft and lots of fun.  When you hold them they just look up at you.

The next port was Cozumel.  I want to go back to Cozumel again because we were at a different port than Carnival usually uses and we weren’t able to do a lot of what most people get to do at Cozumel.  We walked around, shopped, and then went to Margaritaville.  It was nice and relaxing for Bud and I. 

The sea days were so much fun and I know it’s cliché but I did have the time of my life here.

It was an absolutely fantastic 25th anniversary trip and hopefully it is the first of many wonderful cruises in our future.

Back to School…

I would be lying if I said I didn’t miss back to school.  No, not the aisles jammed with people buying supplies at Wal-Mart, or the school meetings, but the actual back-to-school.  And not even for my children, although I will admit to deriving some satisfaction from their school supplies.  What I miss every year at this time is actually going back to school.

There…my secret is out.  I was THAT kid.  I absolutely LOVED getting new school supplies.  There is something about new pencils, fresh paper, and a great Trapper Keeper that just gets my blood going.  I loved getting the textbooks for the year.  Seeing all the new stuff to read and learn.  I loved getting my desk and organizing it.  I loved meeting the new teachers, the new kids.  I loved the new routine.  It was all wonderful to me.

And every year at this time I want to go back and do it all again.

It’s funny, when my children were going back to school I was more excited about the school supplies we had to get then they were.  Bella did like to take time to look at what she wanted but Joey couldn’t have cared any less.  Just get it and go.  I don’t remember back to school shopping being quite so chaotic back in the day so that part wasn’t all that much fun with my kids.  I don’t know why everyone waits until the weekend before school to go to Wal-Mart to shop.

I was in a waiting room at a surgical center the other day and a high school girl was sitting next to me reading “The Stand” by Steven King.  I asked about it and she said it was summer reading for school.  I was so jealous.  I want some summer reading for school.

I know, now you know that I am truly a book nerd.  And even worse, I was always a teacher’s pet.  I loved to be helpful and take roll, or take stuff to the office, or even write down the names of the misbehavors while the teacher was out of the room.

I loved having my homework done every day, I loved reading out loud in class, I loved going to the chalk board (and later the white board) to do math problems in front of the class.  There is only one truly horrifyingly bad class I remember from school and that was speech which I took in the 8th grade.  It was awful giving speeches in front of the class.  There was not one thing I liked about that class.

So for the next week or so just ignore me if I get a little misty thinking about back to school.  Don’t worry, it won’t last long.  As soon as I have to go through the first school zone traffic, I’ll be over it.

Mish mash…

My life has been in such a whirlwind that last while that I don’t think I could conherently put it in writing in a form of organization so I’m just going to just throw it up here for your reading enjoyment…

* Goodbye, Bella ~ I don’t even know where to start on this.  The last month or so has been spent getting ready for the big move to Kenya and then on June 28th she was gone.  I kind of felt like, “What do I do now?” the first couple of days since everything had been so focused on all the hundreds of small details of an international move.  I actually did much better at the airport than I thought I would.  Bella got upset in the airport which probably helped me keep it together (for some reason when anyone else starts crying I go into caretaker mode and I quit crying).  Then walking back to the car I was looking at the ground the whole way because Bella’s little missionary man Joey and I had bought her had fallen off of her bookbag and I was determined to find him…which I did right next to our car!  In spite of 4 days of travel, two of which were being stuck in Brussels (poor baby), Bella finally made it to Kenya.  We were able to speak to her via Facebook chat for a good while yesterday, so that was nice.

* The Working Man ~ Joey finally started with the apprenticeship program and started working on a job site on Thursday, July 5th.  It is in Opelika so it involves an hour drive each way.  He is looking into extended stay motels, etc. to cut down on the daily driving.  This is a great opportunity for him and we are so excited for him to get on this program.  Coming out of it he should be trained in welding, pipefitting, and plumming.

* Crusing ~ Bud and I are finally getting to go on our cruise for our 25th anniversary (only 1 year and 2 months late, but who’s counting).  We are so excited and will be leaving late August from New Orleans for a 7-day adventure in the Western Caribbean!  This is something we have looked forward to doing for years and we are so excited to get to do this.

* Good times with good friends ~ Joey and Laura took Sylvia and I to Atlanta over the weekend for a fun trip seeing The Bodies exhibit and then Collective Soul in concert.  Joey and I have been wanting to see Collective Soul for a long time, probably since I introduced him to them when he was a lot shorter =-).  We got to see them in this really cool venue called The Tabernacle in Atlanta.  It is a smaller venue which used to be an old church among other things.  It has 3 stories, hardwood floors, and the interior is painted with all this cool stuff.  Very eclectic and different.  Collective Soul played a set of one whole album from beginning to end, took a 15 minute break, and then returned to play all their hits.  It was a wonderfully entertaining show with lots of energy and fun.  It was Sylvia’s first ever rock concert and she really enjoyed it.  I definitely want to go back to The Tabernacle again.

The Bodies exhibit was also really fun and interesting.  It is in Atlanta until the end of the year so everyone should check it out.

The Yard Sale…

For several months, Bella and I have been trying to have a yard sale – partly to help her raise money for her trip but also so we could start decluttering our house.  After several failed attempts when the weather was not so cooperative, we decided that this Saturday was it, no matter what.  For one thing, the yard sale items have been in our dining room and Bella’s bedroom for months and we were both sick of walking around and looking at all this stuff.  So, we (and by we, I mean Bella) advertised at several places and prepared to have a sale.

As usual, we had way too much stuff.  I am constantly amazed at how much stuff we accumulate.  So we hauled all of it out, hung it up or put it on tables, and waited for the morning to come. Thankfully we have learned to put everything on tables in our carport so we can just carry those out first thing in the morning.  (Can you tell we aren’t really morning people?)

Bella and I decided to get up around 5:30 a.m. to have time to get dressed and set everything out in the front yard.  I have been suffering from insomnia so I woke around 2:30 a.m. so I was already awake by the time the alarm went off.  By 6:00 a.m. we were setting up and already had several customers.

The sale went along well with waves of people coming by.  We did feel like we may have been scammed a little bit by a cute little old lady with a cane, but she was a little old lady so we didn’t mind too much.  She ended up buying a whole basket of bibs that Bella made for 10 cents each.  Bella wasn’t really wanting to sell them that cheap but after her story of volunteering part-time with handicapped kids, we just couldn’t say no.  She may have taken us for a ride but after watching her take approximately 10 minutes to hobble down the driveway, we didn’t have the heart to feel scammed.

We did not have “Ponytail” come by (like our friend a protagonist usually does. see http://aprotagonist.wordpress.com/2012/04/14/yard-sales-is-still-what-i-love/), but we did have a couple of interesting people show up.

First off there was the carful of four ladies who decided to look at our offering of clothing.  I had taken a rope and run it between the two columns on my front porch to create a clothesline to hang the clothes up by size.  This line was in front of my house directly in front of the front door.  We left the door behind open with just the screen closed so we could go in and out as needed.  Bella noticed that a couple of the women had gone behind the clothes on the porch in front of the screen door and were steadily trying on clothes.  These women were stripping down to underwear to do this.  What you need to understand is that you could totally see them on either side, plus anyone looking at clothes could look straight through and see them.  Also, they may not have realized that anyone inside looking out the screen door could see them quite clearly (and Joey was inside the house at the time!).  However, they didn’t seem to care who saw them.  With the clothes being priced at $1.00 per item, I really didn’t see the need to provide a dressing room but apparently I may need to rethink this decision next sale.

My favorite customer was the next one.  She came in search of clothes too apparently.  I’ved never seen anyone who could work a rack of clothes like she did.  And all with a lit cigarette hanging out of the side of her mouth.  She ended up choosing a black, loose knit shrug that I was selling and a hot pink and black belt that looked like a piano keyboard that Bella was selling.  She brought her total haul, which amounted to $1.50, up to pay.  We told her the price and she proceeded to pull a full-sized Crown Royal bag from her bra.  It was full of change and various other items and I’m still not quite sure where it was hidden before she brought it out.  Really?

I just know I’m going to see Ms. Crown Royal out and about sporting that shrug and belt sometime in the future.  Complete with cigarette.  Kind of makes me rethink some of my clothing choices.

All in all, we made around $1,000,000 $250.00!  Pretty good for a bunch of stuff and as hard work as it was, it was actually fun as well.  This may become a every six month or year kind of thing to keep the clutter at bay.

 

Right Where I Am…

Lately I have been thinking about life and just how hard it seems most of the time.  It seems the longer I go along, the harder things become.  Now I finally understand why people long for the “good old days” because looking back it certainly seems like everything was much easier when I was younger.

But maybe it really wasn’t easy.  I don’t think it seemed easy at the time.  I think I just tend to forget the problems, frustrations, and day-to-day grind that was as much of the past as it is today.   If I really think hard I can remember my car not working, not having enough money to pay the bills, the baby crying all night and still having to get up and go to work in the morning.  I remember some days crying on the way to work because I didn’t want to drop off my baby at the sitter and then also remember almost feeling a giddy sense of freedom some mornings after dropping the same baby off.  I remember thinking that “someday” life would get easier.

I think this is a problem that a lot of us struggle with.  Not being really content where we are but always thinking if I was…richer, skinnier, stayed at home, more educated, better dressed…you name it…I would be happier and things would be easier.  But guess what?  Thinking like that we are never content.

I look back and realize I have wasted so much time not just living, being content, and enjoying this moment.  And there really are so much in this moment to enjoy.

Both my adult children live at home right now.  While this can certainly be a source of stress sometimes, this is also a blessing.  There will be a time…not too far in the future… where they will no longer live in our home.  That era of our life will be over forever.  I will miss them being here.  I need to enjoy the little moments while they are here.

My furniture has dog hair on it.  While this also can be a source of stress to me, I need to realize that my furniture has hair on it because I have three wonderful, loving, funny basset hounds that I love dearly.  There will come a time when each of them will leave us.  I will miss them terribly.  So what if there is shedded hair on the furniture.

I think that instead of looking back to what is gone (my babies are all grown up)…or looking forward to something new (grandbabies!)…I need to enjoy right where God has placed me at this moment in my life.  Is where I am really just happenstance or an accident?  No…it’s where I am meant to be right now for whatever purpose and plan God has for me.  And He would like for me to enjoy this time and experience for what it is, not what it could be, or what is missing.

I saw a sign that said, “Enjoy the little things because one day you will wake and realize those were the big things.”  I resolve to enjoy the little things and learn to be content right where I am.

 

Confetti…

The thoughts in my mind lately have been swirling around like confetti, so I’m going to let it all come bursting forth:

* This morning I woke up to the news that Bud will not be coming home in the next few days as we thought but may be in Korea until sometime in November.  This was a huge disappointment for both of us.  And (as those who have read previous blog posts know) I’m not very good at waiting.  While Bud is still pretty irate about the whole lack of communication related to their trip home, I’m more trying to see this as an opportunity.  I am hoping this will give me a little more time to be firmly established in Weight Watchers and exercise before Mr. Betty Crocker comes home and gets to baking.  There are also several projects around the house I would like to tackle to jazz the place up before Bud comes home again.

* I walked/ran my first 5K ever last Saturday!!!  I was SO excited because I really wasn’t sure this was something I would be able to do.  I was extremely nervous before the race began.  I did pretty good until right after mile 1 and then I had a few moments of the “I can’t possibly do this”‘s before I decided that I just needed to ask God to help me endure and persevere.  I figured that is a big theme in the Bible (although it’s mostly related to our faith), so I figured learning to persevere may be something He would be willing to help me with.  I’ll have to say that crossing the finish line was amazing.  I was so thrilled to have made it, I even forgot to look at the time.  Thank goodness someone did and told me I was right around the 48 minute timeframe.  I know I still have a long ways to go, but I’m so jazzed about this now.

* This fall feeling weather tonight is really getting me in the mood to decorate with some nice fall colors.  I’ve also decided that now that I’ve broken in my new sewing machine helping Bella make her Star Trek uniform shirt, I’m ready to really get going on some pillow slip covers and curtains for my living room.  I’m so excited to have the machine because I’ve always wanted to make things for my house and was severely lacking without a sewing machine.  I also just discovered a cool pattern to make reusable pads for your Swiffer Wet Jet, and everyone knows I’m all about saving some money on stuff like this.  As soon as I can find some old cloth diapers, or buy some new cloth diapers, I’m going to be whipping up some of those.  I’m sure I will be putting some project pictures up on my blog as soon as I get some done.

* I am really loving my new job!  It is a great job for me because it deals with patients (which I love), is new and different and exciting every day, and requires a lot of organization which is “my thing”.  I have met so many really great people and learned so much in just six short months.  It’s wonderful to look back and see all the jobs I have had before now and the skills I learned in them being used for this job.  I am so thankful that God has put me here at this time in my life.

* The new mattress that I bought a month or so ago…I LOVE IT!  It is possibly the most comfortable mattress I’ve slept on in who knows how long.  And the best part – I can now leave my bedroom door open during the day because my bed is high enough that my little short-legged furry friends can’t jump on my bed.  I used to have to always keep my bedroom door closed as they would get up and were getting my bedspread dirty all the time.  This resulted in a somewhat stuffy/non-aired-out room.  I love being able to keep the door open.  I also love having to invite help up a dog if I want them up there.  If I don’t want them up there, they stay down. 

* Oh, and by the way…War Eagle!!!

That Kind of Woman…

 I’ve always wanted to be one of those women like my mother was.  In fact, pretty much my entire adult life has been spent trying to figure out how to be her.  You see, my mom was one of those women that are so rare.  She had that “quiet and gentle spirit” that the Bible speaks about.  She was loved by all: I never once heard anybody at anytime say anything negative about her.  She was always calm, no matter what.  I never, ever heard her say one negative thing about anyone. 

For example, there was this one woman in our church growing up.  She had really bad arthritis, the kind where her fingers looked mangled.  She was absolutely the hardest person to be around.  She was extremely negative all the time.  However, my mother agreed to drive her to and from her doctor’s appointments.  My mother actually seemed to enjoy her time with “Miss Emma”. 

I want to be that way.  I want to be content, no matter my circumstances.  I want to take joy in everything I do…without grumbling.  The problem is, that is not my personality naturally and I don’t know HOW to be that way.

1 Peter 3:3-5, speaking to women, says:

3Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. 4Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. 5For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful.

That really, really is convicting to me.   And really, really impossible for me to attain.  You see, I’ve never been that kind of woman.  I’ve never been called gentle or had someone refer to my quiet spirit.  But I really want to be that woman.  So, I’ve asked God to help me in this area. 

Recently, I’ve had some success in this area.  I realize it is all God’s work, and God’s alone.  But He has helped me keep quiet lately when I was upset and stressed.  He has helped me tame my tongue.  However, I realize that this is definitely a work in progress.  And it will take a long, long time.  But, Lord willing, maybe one time I will be that kind of woman.  And one day someone will tell me I remind them of  my mother, or even better, that I remind them of Christ.

^{Proverbs 31:30}

Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
       but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.