So when you’re not looking, life just moves along. Mine mostly seems to be going in circles while I’m waiting for my husband to return to from Korea. Every week I get up every morning at 7:00 a.m., get ready for work, go to work, work all day, come home from work, do laundry, do dishes, put medicine in the dogs ears, pay bills, try to decide if I want to cook, go grocery shopping, read my Bible….and on and on and on.
Usually I have to talk myself into doing some of these things every time I need to do them. Mostly because I feel like I’m in a rut. I don’t think it’s because I don’t like doing these things – some I do, some I don’t. I pretty much think it’s because I’m missing my other half. The pop in life is gone down to a fizzle. The colors have all turned a little anemic.
I have gotten all kinds of reactions about missing my husband. Most people ask me how I’m doing and how much I miss Bud. But you would be surprised by the number of people who think I should be enjoying every minute that he is gone. They think this should be one big party. I’m not complaining about them, mind you. I’m mostly confused as to why people would think that.
I think a lot of it is people don’t have a concept of how long nine months really is in the scheme of everyday life. The following things will happen or have happened already since Bud has been gone:
- * His Dad has had chemotherapy and radiation.
- * Brown Dog died.
- * I had my 46th birthday.
- * Joey had his 21st birthday.
- * Valentine’s Day.
- * Mother’s Day.
- * His dad’s birthday.
- * Spring.
- * He will miss our 25th Wedding Anniversary.
- * We will miss his 47th birthday.
- * We will miss being with him on Father’s Day.
- * He will miss his Dad’s surgery.
- * He will miss Bella’s 24th birthday.
- * He will miss his mother’s birthday.
- * He will miss Independence day.
- * He will miss ALL of Summer.
- * He will miss both Memorial day and Labor day.
- * He will miss approximately 72 Sunday church services at Morningview.
Those are just the big things. And there is a big hole every time he misses something.
Don’t get me wrong – I am SO grateful that God has given Bud this opportunity. I am also sure that God is using this time to grow our family and each one of us. I believe God is using Bud in a big way to witness to people in Korea and to provide leadership in the church he is attending there. And for all that I am glad. But I can’t wait until he is here with us again. I miss him.