Sometimes there is a huge disconnect between who I am and who I want to be. Also, from who I think I am and who I actually am. I’m sure I’m not the only one who wakes up some mornings and wonders who this person in the mirror is.
I have spoken in the past about my mother, who was literally one of the nicest, most gentle and caring people I ever knew. As it gets close to the anniversary of her death each year I find myself thinking of her and her kind and gentle spirit and I find myself again lacking.
I so want to be that person that is quiet and has a gentle spirit. But I am in reality so not that person. I am more of the rambunctious, loud nature and someone who usually laughs when I shouldn’t.
The more I think anout this though, the more I realize that God didn’t give me that same quiet, gentle nature…but it wasn’t an accident. God gave me my personality and gifted me with the gifts I have because that is who He created me to be. He gave me these gifts to do His will in the way He wanted me uniquely to do it. To complain or worry because I am not like someone else is to decide that I know more about God’s will and purposes than He does…and we all know that is not true.
So to me the key is to embrace who God created me to be and use my unique gifts and along the way work on cultivating that gentle and quiet spirit that I know is so pleasing to the Lord. I just know it’s hiding in there somewhere.
1 Peter 3:3-4 …. Do not let your adornment be merely outward—arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel— rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.