When I was 30, I finally decided that I was going to go ahead and search for my biological parents. I had no idea even how to begin. I knew the first thing that I would need to do was talk to my dad. I needed to make sure that my search was not going to hurt him and to get his blessing. This was very important to me. At this time, I lived in Alabama and my dad lived in California, so I decided to write him a letter.
It took me several days to write the letter. I wanted to say just the write things. I wanted to assure my dad that I was NOT going to find “new parents.” I explained why I needed to find where I came from. I sent the letter off and spent several days extremely nervous as to my dad’s reaction. I wasn’t sure if he was going to be upset or mad or what. Finally, my dad got my letter and he immediately called me.
He was more than happy for me to do a search for my birth parents. He didn’t have any reservations or worries at all and was very encouraging to me. He also gave me some valuable information on where to start and who to talk to. He was able to tell me which agency I was adopted from and he also suggested that I contact my grandfather who still lived in Colorado. I called me grandfather who was able to tell me exactly who to contact and he also found out the procedure for me to begin a search.
Each state has different rules regarding a search for biological parents. In Colorado, the search had to go through the courts. I had to petition the court in the county in which my adoption occurred to open my case. After much waiting, and some money, my case finally came up. The judge ruled in my favor and appointed an intermediary to search my files and begin the search for my biological parents.
I had a wonderful intermediary named Betty. She was an adoptive parent herself so she had so much compassion for everyone in the process. She had helped many people to find their biological families, including her own child.
Everything seemed to move at a snail’s pace. I wanted to know right away and each step took time and money. Betty was wonderful at keeping me up-to-date and was working as fast as she could to get me some information.
So…the waiting game began.